Despising James Potter
by kawaii-konnichiwa
Summary: I HATE JAMES POTTER! I can't believe that I actually thought that he would leave me alone! I mean come on. What moronic idiot would sing outside your window at 3am. 3AM! I'll give you 3 guesses. If you guessed James Potter, James Potter, and James Potter,
1. Default Chapter

A/N: This idea just hit me one day and I knew that I had to write it! The whole story will be in the format of Lily's diary. Hope that you enjoy Lily's rantings! And for all Chocolate fans the last chapter will be posted soon!

Chapter 1

  


September 1 10:35am

I'm so excited! I'm on the way to Kings Cross Station right now to start my 6th year at Hogwarts. My name is Lily Evans by the way. I'm 16 years old and have mid-length red hair and bright green eyes. My birthday is on July 3. Now back to the subject. I can't wait to see Hogwarts again! I mean, summer is fun and all but my dratted sister Petunia has to ruin it every year. The only down side is the Marauders. Let me explain. The Marauders consist of 4 people; James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Remus I'm ok with. We often talk outside of classes and see each other fairly often in the library. I guess that Black isn't that bad; compared to Potter anyway. I don't see Peter often, he's very quiet. Now the worst of them all, Potter. The stupid, evil, conniving git thinks that he could ask me out a million times every year in that arrogant, idiotic way of his and think that I'd actually say yes. AS IF! How he thinks that I'd say yes to a self-centered prat with an over inflated ego is beyond me. If you haven't been able to guess by now that I despise James Potter you have an IQ lower than zero. Is that even possible?

September 1 12:37pm

So far so good. Haven't seen it yet. In case you didn't know, it is Potter. I can't bring my self to actually call it by its name. I might start ranting again about how he's a bullying toe rag, how he thinks that he's better than everybody else...See what I mean? It's very hard for me to stop listing Pot-its faults after I've started. Believe me, I could go on for hours. Oh no, I spoke to soon. Here it comes. Let's just hope that I don't slap him this time. Actually that's not a bad idea...

September 1 8:53pm

I'm a very content person right now. I know that you probably want to know what happened on the train so as being the good person I am, I will tell you diary. Potter (I have stopped calling him it. As much as he deserves it, I was starting to get annoyed because I couldn't tell if I was referring to an object or Potter) of course spotted me (damn the red hair!) and came over to say hello. Yea right. That will be the day. Our conversation went something like this:

Potter: Hi  
Me: ignoring him  
Potter: Hello? Lils?  
Me: Don't call me Lils (I snap at him)  
Potter: At least you're talking to me now  
Me: In your dreams (I muttered under my breath)  
Potter: What was that? (In a disgustingly cheerful voice)  
Me: nothing  
Potter: Will you go out with me?  
Me: NO  
Potter: Come on Lils. You know you love me.  
Me: NO I DON'T! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! AND I'LL MURDER YOU IF YOU DARE CALL ME "LILS" AGAIN!

Of course he didn't look at all fazed at my outburst and just sat there smirking. I couldn't take it anymore and just stomped out of the compartment. You now must be wondering why I'm so content right? Well I'll tell you that too. After dinner as we were walking up to the tower, Potter asked me out again. As I was still pissed off about what happened on the train, I yelled at him yet again. Then as the idiot he is, Potter made some perverted comment; so perverted that I can't even put it down on paper. By then I was steaming so I just slapped him and walked away. I heard Black comment that that was a good thing because I "was in denial" as I rounded the corner. Yeah right. I swear that he could be as dim-witted as Potter sometimes; wait scratch that, all the time. Well I'm very happy right now because just a couple of minutes ago (must be 20 minutes now) I saw the Marauders enter the portrait hole. I was extremely satisfied that Potter still had a bright red hand print on his left cheek. I'm exhausted after this whole ordeal so I'm going to retire to bed. WOW! It's 9:30 already! Anyway, good night.

September 10 4:24pm

I'm sorry that I haven't been writing for awhile. I'm been bogged down with schoolwork. I mean, I love school and all but honestly, it's only the 2nd week of school! On a happier note, Potter hasn't been bothering me lately. Maybe the slap knocked some sense into him. Gotta go finish my 4 foot potions essay now. I'll try to write again soon.

September 14 3:45am

I HATE JAMES POTTER! I can't believe that I actually thought that he would leave me alone! I mean come on. What moronic idiot would sing outside your window at 3am. 3AM! I'll give you 3 guesses. If you guessed James Potter, James Potter, and James Potter, you are a genius! That stupid prat actually had the nerve to go and sing in his STUPID off-key voice outside the window waking up my whole dorm in the process. They thought it was cute. CUTE! Well what should I expect with a dorm full of bimbos who would think that ANYTHING is cute if it involved Sirius Black or James Potter. So as the smart person I am, I grabbed my baseball which just happened to be on top of my trunk, opened the window, and hurled the baseball out the window at the mini figure below. Then I shut the window feeling very satisfied and hoping that the bloody git got knocked unconscious. What a nice person I am. Well I am very tired after being rudely awakened, so I'm going back to sleep. Good-night.

September 14 9:50am

This is the worst day of my life. I should have known that this day would be cursed when the idiot woke me up this morning. First the arrogant prick came up to me at breakfast and congratulated me on my great throw while tossing the baseball up and catching it. Then he said and I quote "But fortunately for you, I have superb reflexes from playing Quidditch and managed to avoid getting hit. After all, you wouldn't really want to hurt me would you?" in that arrogant voice like he expected me to be impressed. You don't know how much I felt like murdering him right then and there. But instead of doing that as the teachers were right there, I settled for turning around and ignoring him. Now here comes the worst part. In Transfiguration, I was sitting there minding my own business while Professor McGonagall is paring us up for a project. Guess who my partner is. Bingo. James Potter. Of course I jumped up right away and protested against being partnered up with it. When she asked why, I said that I hated him and that he annoys me. Perfectly valid answer right? Try telling her that. The oh so wonderful Professor (catch the sarcasm?) said that that was an unacceptable excuse and told me to sit down. How unfair is that! I can't stand to work with that prick for the rest of the month. I'm getting sick just thinking about it. Excuse me while I barf.

September 15 9:05am

I'm meeting Potter in the library today. Oh joy. Can't you hear the enthusiasm? Of course he came up to me at breakfast just to remind us about our meeting in a very loud voice just so that the rest of the school knew to. As if I needed reminding. That idiot just wanted to gloat to the whole school. Now I'm going to have to put up with rumors for the rest of the day. Oh great. What makes it even better is that I now get to go to my now most hated class; Transfiguration where I get to sit next to Potter. Could life get any better? 

September 15 8:55pm

I just finished my first meeting with Potter. It could have been worse I guess. We just researched separately not conversing. Well Potter tried to strike up a conversation but I just ignored him and pretended that he didn't exist. I think he got the hint after awhile. 

A/N: How do you guys like the first chapter so far? I hope that I didn't make Lily too sarcastic. She won't be that way the whole story; I promise! Criticism accepted as long as it's constructive. Review!


	2. chapter 2

A/N: Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

**Thank you to my wonderful reviewers:**

**Nick-Potter7:** Thanks for reviewing :)

**missmcweir:** Thanks for the suggestions. I'll try that!

**notpartoffanfiction:** yes that would be funny...however, James is a chaser not a seeker; the first movie screwed that up :)

**Dans-girl-4ever:** sarcasm is the second best thing ever invented! (chocolate is the first)

**yellowcard-1991:** Glad you like it! Yes Lily will write about others throughout the story. She's just focused on James now :)

**Lestatlover1784:** Thanks for the reminder. I always forget to put up disclaimers on my fics. Yup, you could never make anyone too sarcastic.

_Chapter 2_

September 20 8:45 a.m.

I have another meeting with Potter today. The project is due in another 2 weeks. I never did tell you what the project was about did I diary? Ok, well we have to write a 5 foot report on turning a porcupine into a hairbrush. Rather dangerous if you ask me. What if you tried to use the brush and the bristles were still spikes? ouch. Potter and I still need to write the report. We've only been researching for the past week. Crap! I'm gonna miss breakfast if I don't hurry! Later!

September 20 5:35 p.m.

Guess who was stalking me today? No, not Potter. Good guess though. Gildorey Lockheart, you know that brainless git with blond hair who thinks that he's god gift to women? I was walking to lunch when he came over and asked me what brand of knickers I was wearing. I slapped him and walked away. I would think nothing of it because sadly that _is_ a normal question for him to ask, but he seems to be everywhere! I've seen him hang around my classes and I know that his classes are nowhere near them. Excuse me if I think that its slightly stalkerish and freaky. Now I have a stalker and Potter to worry about. Brilliant. Speaking of Potter, I gotta go meet him in the library. Pray that he makes it out alive.

September 20 7:45 p.m.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THATthat IDIOT DID! HE SPILLED INK ALL OVER ME! Ink! Do you _know_ how hard it is to get ink off a uniform! I'm going to kill the bastard!

September 20 7:48 p.m.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Ok I'm calm. And I'm now feeling like an idiot to because something called the cleaning charm was invented. Well, that's the effect Potter has; Makes you so mad that you can't think straight. But seriously! I know that he did it on purpose. How could it be an accident if the ink _just _happened to be floating above your head. Honestly. Why does he even try?

September 21 9:52 a.m.

I am such an idiot. I feel sooooooooo bad now. I mean, I just found out that it was Black who did the ink incident not Potter! And I bashed Potter many times with a heavy book for that to. Wait, does this mean that I have to apologize! Oh I'm gonna embarrass myself sooooo bad! Do I have to? Maybe he'll forget all about me attacking him with a book.

...Damn conscious. Fine I'll apologize, but I don't have to be sincere!

September 21 5:32 p.m.

Feel proud. I just tried apologized. I was right, it was VERY embarrassing. Get this, as soon as I opened my mouth to say I'm sorry…I stuttered. Yes, stuttered! How embarrassing is that! Of course Black decided at that moment to start cracking up. Now extremely pissed off, I kicked him in the shin. Currently, he's still hopping around the common room on one foot howling in pain. Wow, I didn't know I was that strong. Must be the effects of anger. He'll probably have one hell of a bruise tomorrow. Oh well, not my problem. Aren't I the nice one? Well for future reference, I am NOT going through that torturous experience again. Never mind that it was my stupid conscience that got me into this in the first place. Damn…I just realized…I never did get around to actually apologizing to Potter…NO!

A/N: Wow, Lily has a temper doesn't she? Lol. Anyway, I am sooooooo sorry for not updating in months! I feel so bad. But to tell you the truth, the reason was that I was loosing inspiration and motivation for this story. Then I reread it and it all came flowing back! But I never really had a chance to update cause of school. I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter and could find it in their hearts to forgive me for the long wait. I know that the chapter was kind of short, the next will definitely be longer. Review!

P.S. Some suggestions for Lily's best friend's name would be really helpful and welcome. I'm HORRIBLE with names!


	3. chapter 3

A/N: Hey I updated! Not as long a wait as the 2nd chapter. That counts for something right? I'll spare you the excuses.

Thank you:

yellowcard-1991: I hope that you enjoyed chapter 2! Looking at baby names was smart. I would have never thought of that. I hope that you enjoy chapter 3!

Abby: I'm glad that I'm not the only one horrible with names! Yeah, I could imagine Lockhart being a stalker too. It fits with his personality.

Miss Myrtle360: lol. Yes Lily does have a temper. A sarcastic Lily is a good Lily.

_Chapter 3_

September 23 4:15pm

My best friend is a traitor. A TRAITOR I TELL YOU! Yeah, yeah keep laughing, but see how you fell when your best friend in the whole wide world tells you that SHE'S FALLEN IN LOVE WITH SIRIUS BLACK! The person who now has a bruise on his shin in courtesy of me! And you know what's worse? She wants me to play matchmaker! Me! Somebody up there must hate me!

September 23 5:00pm

I am a horrible, horrible person. I made Janet (my best friend) cry! So of course I went to comfort her and stupid, stupid me I agreed to help her. Wait…I agreed to help her! That, that evil manipulative…grrrrr! How could she do this to me! Just for this I'm not talking to her for a week.

September 24 8:17am

Ok I lied. I can't stand not talking to her. sigh But why Sirius Black out of all people? Nothing good can come out of that. But sadly, I already agreed to play matchmaker and I can't back out of my word now. Off to a Transfiguration test now. Wish me luck!

September 24 3:24pm

Janet is currently yelling at me at the top of her lungs in the girl's dormitories. She said and I quote "I told you to help me get together with Sirius Black not embarrass me!" snigger Well she _did _tell me to match make so you can't say that I didn't try. Pushing her into him in the middle of the hallway did seem like a good idea at the time. Pity that Janet didn't seem to agree with me. Now my poor ears are paying the price. sob

September 24 6:14pm

Crap! As a result of Janet's rantings, yes she bloody yelled at me for over 2 hours, I am currently late for a meeting with Potter for our project; though why anybody would want to know how to turn a porcupine into a hairbrush is still beyond me.

September 24 8:03pm

Stupid Janet. Throughout our research, Potter kept looking at me oddly because I kept rubbing me ears. It's not my fault that they hurt so bad! Blame Janet and her loud voice for that. Ugg, I have to start coming up with better matchmaking plans. Janet expects me to redeem myself. What am I supposed to do, lock them in a room for 24 hours! Hmmm…not a bad idea. Must remember that for later.

September 24 8:15pm

Lockhart must die. Lockhart must die. Lockhart must die. You know why? BECAUSE HE'S STILL STALKING ME! And he had the nerve to grope me! Grrrrrrrrrr. Lockhart must die.

September 25 9:48am

Need sleep. I stayed up all night plotting ways to kill Lockhart; and I came up with some good one's if I do say so myself. Operation Kill Lockhart successful, operation sleep failed. Well anyway, I tried to catch some sleep in History of Magic (shh, don't tell. It's a secret) when Janet woke me up, by throwing a piece of paper at my head. Not a very pleasant way to wake up. I though it was important so I yawned and read her note. Guess what she woke me up for? SIRIUS BLACK! This was her note: _Isn't Sirius looking sooooooo hot today?_ I turned around to look at her and she was staring at him with stars in her eyes. What has Sirius done to my best friend! Why her! She's turning into a blubbering idiot! And for the rest of the lesson I plotted whether to give the note to Sirius in revenge for waking me up but then I decided that it was too mean. She should be thankful that I'm so nice.

September 25 11:45am

I am seriously considering the locking in the room idea. I don't even know if Sirius knows that she exists! sigh Matchmaking is so stressful. I think that I should try and get rid of the Lockhart problem first. Mwahahahhahahahah cough cough owwww, evil laughs hurt the throat.

September 25 4:23pm

I am currently bawling in the common room with Janet trying to console me. Know why? I failed to kill Lockhart. sob I am a failure to the wizarding world! I tried to push him down the stairs, but then I lost my footing at flew right _past _him instead of right _at_ him so than he got down the stairs safely. Now I'm spilling the whole story to Janet and she finally understands my pain. She looked absolutely outraged that Lockhart tried to grope me and agreed wholeheartedly that he must die. Then the evil grin spread across her features. You know, _the_ evil grin. Be very afraid of the evil grin. Now I almost felt bad for the torture that Lockhart was going to endure. Almost.

September 25 4:30pm

Janet came back looking very happy about something. I'm guessing that her evil plan is going to be put into action. Now I'm curious, so I asked her. Guess what? She asked the Marauders for help! And she said that they were all concerned, especially James. He looked like he was ready to go Lockhart him and rip him limb from limb. She said that very suggestively might I add. But let's forget about that and move on. I'll kill Janet later. Apparently they're gonna give Lockhart the prank of his life! Now this I gotta see.

September 25 4:43pm

Now I'm feeling extremely happy. The promise of Lockhart being humiliated could raise anyone's mood. And I'm planning to carry out one of my plans tomorrow, and I will not fail! I better go upstairs and start planning, _after_ I finish my homework of course.

September 26 7:35am

Crap! Crap! Crap! I knew that I forgot to do something! My transfiguration homework! McGonagall is gonna KILL me! I can't see the prank on Lockhart if I'm dead! Now do you see my predicament! I hurried down the dormitory stairs still in my pajamas desperate to find someone, ANYONE who would let me copy the homework. Thankfully it was not an essay. Oh no, Potter is the only one in the common room. Merlin help me!

September 26 8:05am

Success! I got the homework from Potter and it is now copied and safe in my bag. I knew that the puppy eyes and pout wouldn't fail me! Disregarding the fact that I had to give him a kiss on the cheek and beg and it was all good. Now all that's left is to get ready and get to Transfiguration on time.

A/N: I hope that all of you enjoyed the chapter! Next chapter there will definitely be more of James, the Marauders, the prank, more Lockhart, and more matchmaking! A plot is actually forming! Don't forget to drop a review!


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